I’ve never been one to flaunt off the figure, my opinion, it’s not one to be shared!!
Like many other females out there, I lack body confidence, don’t get me wrong, when i’m dressed and with friends i can flaunt around as if I have no body hangs up what so ever. I do the sarcastic sexy dancing, ensuring to caress the figure and wear an almighty pout, I like to strut around and give a mist of self confidence that i almost believe is true, until i’m getting undressed, or even getting dressed in the morning.
No matter what i put on, if i have time spare to look in the mirror, i’m get changed in countless outfits, unhappy because that dress makes me look frumpy, that skirts cutting in, that tops too tight. Eventually i find myself leaving the flat in the outfit I originally was wearing, sprayed in eau deu confidence.
Recently it was my Birthday and one of my presents was a trip to spa, which had me all excited, a few hours of chilling around in a dressing gown, hitting up some saunas and relaxing in a heated rooftop pool. I’ve never been to anything like it before so I was somewhat excited, until the realisation hit, and it hit very quickly. I was going to have to wear swimwear!!!!!
Since about the age of 10, my swim/beachwear consisted of board shorts and a t-shirt, it wasn’t until I went on holiday at 18, that i braved a bikini, don’t get me wrong i loved shopping for them. And there’s something about being abroad, it initially took a few hours for me to get down to the swim wear, but the heat kind of forced me, along with this foreign confidence i gained. But this time round, i was not going to be abroad, and there was no chance i could go wearing my boardies and an oversized t-shirt. Time to hit the shops.
Ideally i wanted a swimsuit, with a shorts style bottom half- hides the top of the thighs- the bellybutton (the part of my body that leads most my insecurities and makes me feel like a fatty. bizarre but true), the belly itself and the stretchies. But this was not going to look too pretty and I was going to be going with the boyfriend, so naturally I wanted to look at least a bit pretty!
Next thought a tankini- but all i can remember of a tankini, is they’re basically a swimsuit with a gap round the oozy bits, to let them wobble freely- NAHHHH!.
Fuck! Is it going to be a bikini- If it was, it had to be the highest of the high, high wasted bottoms, which also came down low, with a top that could give me some booby.
When i hit the shops/shop (debenhams) i scoured through, tried a tummy control swimsuit, some weird skirt style bikini bottoms until i came across the perfect two piece.
High wasted bottoms, halter neck top, and a polka dot pattern, that made me feel good. Although when i initially got to the pull side- taking off the dressing gown took a few minutes, whilst i panicked and went through the whole, “everyones looking at me” phase, i was prancing around. Yes I was still conscious especially when sitting in the steam rooms- but i went with it. I knew my belly button was hidden- ok the bottoms didn’t have the complete short thing that i had decided was necessary, but they did cover the bum, and that was fine with me in the end.
This is the winner. Thanks Debenhams.